28 – Stay at home mom
Meeting Madison brought back so many memories of when my girls were little and playing on the floor while I had friends over or did the normal ‘mom’ things. I met Madison in her home and was greeted by her, two of her daughters (the oldest was at school), and her husband Daniel. It was a controlled chaos that all moms and dads can relate to – TV on, toys on the floor, and mom and dad taking turns attending to the kids’ needs. I felt right at home!
Madison feels that beauty starts with the assurance of yourself. We all have had the experience with an instant judgment and you think something negative about someone before the positive. But she works on positive thinking instead with the thought that when you think one thing positive, your positive thoughts will multiply and you will have less negative thoughts. Instead of looking for the negative in everything, she tries to start with a positive thought each day and looks for the simple things to be happy about. When we put out negative vibes, we will look ‘ugly’ and that attracts others with the same mindset. That kind of thought process really begins at home. She believes we are taught at such a young age to question our own beauty, that we will never be good enough based on looks, and you will have to fight harder than men. She has come to realize that life and love aren’t cookie cutter so why should beauty be the same?
Madison recognizes that having self-confidence is the hardest part for her to overcome. She never had self-confidence until she had children. It was her first glimpse into the real need of being positive for her kids, to be that role model she wants her kids to look up to. If she is fighting herself and her kids see that, they will learn to not be positive about themselves. In her first marriage, she suffered from low self-esteem. Once she left her ex-husband, she felt she could finally breathe and began to build up her confidence. She realized that she had to stop doubting herself, be proud of who she was, and fight for happiness for her and her kids.
Daniel, her husband, has helped her to overcome her self-doubt. He is supportive in everything she does and helps to remind her to not take life too seriously. She explained that he has been through a lot, more than most people, and he has overcome all of it. He tells her every day that he is so thankful for his life and reminds her that they have a beautiful life together. That type of support is helpful for Madison to put things in perspective for her.
Madison can see each persons’ beauty, regardless of what they may present on the outside. She is teaching her kids to express themselves in any way they feel they can and to not be “people pleasers”. When the oldest daughter had an issue in school with another student, Madison told her to stand up for yourself but to also try and understand that not everyone will like you and it is ok. Try to be nice to those kids because we don’t know what they may be going through.
Madison still struggles from issues in her past relationship. She can fall into the thought process of “I could have done this, why didn’t I do this?” She feels like she didn’t do the right things to be successful or happy and has guilt over it. That type of negative thought leads her to feel bad about herself. But she is battling the doubting thoughts with positivity and it does work for her.
At home, Madison is speaking positively about herself to help create a positive foundation for her girls. She recognizes that once they go to school, they will be influenced by their friends and not just mom and dad. But she feels if she can start now and give them more to focus on than the physical aspect of themselves, she will be giving them a good head start on being a strong woman. She wants them to feel good about themselves, be healthy, have positive thoughts, and once those habits are formed, then hopefully they will choose the right path when they are older.
Madison and Daniel are fighting hard to give their daughters a strong foundation to grow upon. They want them to understand their own beauty and not be afraid to be themselves. I believe they will be strong independent women with the help of their parents!